Yesterday I met another Chinese mum married to an English-only speaking Dad. She was bilingual and was teaching her daughter to speak Chinese and we got chatting about the challenges of being a bilingual parent.
Many people are curious and impressed when they discover that I’m teaching my kids to be bilingual. For me, teaching my kids to be bilingual from birth is a no-brainer – but it got me thinking about sharing the WHY and HOW of raising kids to be bilingual.
I’m not a linguistic expert nor a qualified language teacher. However, I am only bilingual because of my parents and I have made the choice to teach my kids to be bilingual, so I feel I have some insights and experience to share.
Why you should raise your kids to be bilingual
There is lots of research about the benefits of bilingualism for children:
- bilingual babies benefit from learning faster;
- Bilingual children as young as seven months outperform monolinguals at tasks requiring “executive function”: prioritising and planning complex tasks and switching mental gears;
- the effects appear to be lifelong: bilinguals have later onset of Alzheimer’s disease, on average, than do monolinguals.
I have not found a single piece of research that says that bilingualism has negative consequences for children. I have heard some parents say that they don’t want their children’s English to suffer but research shows that learning another language can benefit children with their English numeracy and English literacy. Don’t worry – you kids will have lots of opportunity to hear, listen, learn and practise English all around them and at school.
I also know as a bilingual adult I feel privileged to be able to speak two languages. I was forced to only speak Chinese at home but I can’t really read or write Chinese (as I rebelled against Chinese school as a teenager). From my own experience I feel that:
- Bilingualism has taught me to have a good ear for hearing and pronouncing other languages. Because Cantonese is a tonal language I can hear tonality in sounds much better than, say, my monolingual husband. My French accent is pretty good, my smattering of Vietnamese (another tonal language) is accurate and I can hear and replicate the six Cantonese tones of ‘maa’ (which could variably mean mother, horse, twin, question, scold or hemp) accurately.
- some words in Chinese cannot be exactly translated into English. I find that there are many Chinese words that describe smells and tastes which do not have a direct translation in English. Having a second language expands my vocabulary to express exactly what I mean.
- Speaking Cantonese connects me to my family. My grandmother doesn’t speak English and I naturally switch to Chinese when speaking to my parents. Without my language skills there would be a great barrier in our connectedness and understanding.
- Speaking another language means that I can communicate with different people in different ways. I have been able to provide directions to lost elderly Chinese people, have conversations with bus drivers and helped asylum seekers navigate their way around Australian bureaucracy. I only wish my Mandarin was better so that I could communicate with more people.
- Learning another language also means appreciating another culture. I go into a Chinese restaurant and know how and what to order!
- There’s a benefit to having a ‘secret’ language – you can talk about people without them knowing you’re talking about them! While this may sound rude it has been helpful when Lady AB has said something much too honest about someone ‘That man is really fat!’ and I’ve been able to correct her in Chinese.
My view is that if can can pass on that knowledge and such far-reaching benefits to your children, why wouldn’t you? Well…
Challenges of teaching your kids to be bilingual
The first step to teaching kids to be bilingual is the one language-one parent rule. That means I speak to the kids only in Chinese (where possible, my vocabulary isn’t complete) and T speaks to the kids only in English.
This can pose problems when T doesn’t know what I’m saying to the kids – but that’s pretty rare. I don’t have complex philosophical discussions with my kids! Mostly I’m telling them to eat, drink, bathe, share, don’t do that etc and it’s pretty obvious from the context what I mean (I also still automatically use baby sign language).
Also my resolve weakens when I am tired, frustrated or angry. Even though Cantonese is my mother tongue, English is my predominant language, so I can’t find the words I need in the heat of the moment.
I find the hardest situations are when the kids and I are around other English-speaking people. When I talk directly to them I still speak Chinese but when I need the other people to know what I’m saying eg ‘please give the apple to that little girI’ I have to switch to English. That erodes the one language-one parent rule which means that Lady AB knows I can speak and understand English.
Which leads to my biggest challenge – getting the kids to speak Chinese. I know Lady AB and Baby 2.0 both understand Chinese perfectly well – but Lady AB responds to me in mostly English and Baby 2.0’s budding vocabulary is all English words. I have tried to force Lady AB to respond in Chinese by telling her I don’t understand her when she speaks English – but she’s stubborn and smart. For the moment I’ve let it slide as I figure the kids are still grappling with English and I’m hoping to handball the responsibility of teaching spoken and written Chinese to Chinese school!
My tips for teaching bilingualism
From my experience here are my tips for being a bilingual parent:
- Be consistent. One parent-one language and avoid using English if possible. This is the golden rule!
- Introduce foreign language books and reading in the language. I can’t read or write Chinese which means I have to read the kids English books, but I still try to have Chinese books around for grandparents and where possible I translate sentences into Chinese after reading the sentence in English.
- Use the TV to your advantage. Every kid loves screen time and sometimes the one-eyed babysitter is very helpful – so put on DVDs and TV shows in the language.
- Make use of books and toys. Learning language should be fun so there are shops where you can buy children’s books and toys in other languages.
- Bilingual playgroup. You can find bilingual playgroups all around Melbourne through Playgroup Victoria – Cultural Specific playgroups and VicSeg as well as city councils (eg City of Melbourne, Maribyrnong) We attend a Mandarin and Cantonese playgroup in Kensington.
- Bilingual storytime. Here’s a list of Melbourne council libraries that offer free bilingual storytime.
- Children will make mistakes – in any language. That’s ok – your job as a parent is to be their first teacher and to help them understand and correct their mistakes.
- Bilingualism is a long-term investment. Sometimes there are setbacks, sometimes it can be challenging and frustrating and you just have to keep going! The rewards are great.
Do you have any insights about your own journey to teaching bilingual children or advice for other bilingual parents?
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